I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize