Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
