The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
