just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
