I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
