God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
