it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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