Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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