Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
