my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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