I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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