So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
