It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
