News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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