I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All the doctor said was why
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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