Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
