What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
