Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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