I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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