Kiss
Puke
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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