Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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