after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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