I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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