I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize