so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
