i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
