you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
