Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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