I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
