I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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