Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
