we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
