i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
