okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
