he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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