hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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