I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
