Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
