I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
