I wish I only lived at night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
