you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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