His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just cropdusted the office
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
