I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
