I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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