my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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