I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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