oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
