Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
