So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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