so that wasnt chicken after all
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
