Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
