we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
