Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?