somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My balls are so social today.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive