No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
