; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video