Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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  (210): I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy. http://tfl.nu/fwj0
  Replies (53) Good night (6441) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week

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  (269): i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week http://tfl.nu/99uq
  Replies (26) Good night (6600) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.

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  (715): We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay. http://tfl.nu/aupb
  Replies (16) Good night (4921) Bad night (1335)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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  (973): can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces.. http://tfl.nu/3uan
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (1245)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5168) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm

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  (248): thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm http://tfl.nu/wrnu
  Replies (6) Good night (1904) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?

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  (860): Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night? http://tfl.nu/99ew
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?

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  (804): How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now? http://tfl.nu/mo61
  Replies (16) Good night (2675) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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  (910): We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew. http://tfl.nu/c4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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  (715): Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him? http://tfl.nu/jy7k
  Replies (5) Good night (1913) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.

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  (208): I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/ctp9
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing

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  (203): this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing http://tfl.nu/0rfp
  Replies (5) Good night (613) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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  (814): I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's. http://tfl.nu/kzl8
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions

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  (307): When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions http://tfl.nu/bhkl
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.

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  (915): He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students. http://tfl.nu/u0iv
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (443)

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