We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
do nipples grow back?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize