just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
