Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
