We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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