i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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