Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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