So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you win again, gameday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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