I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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