He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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