I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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