We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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