I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize