Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
