i think my mom watched the whole time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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