I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
