ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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