As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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