Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
are you so shy because you have an std?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
