If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
