Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
